Sunday, April 11, 2010
A significant moment...
When my sister Melissa had her baby she was telling me about her labor and delivery story. She went au natural, which I know is completely amazing and insane at the same time. Anyway she was describing the feeling of transition the moment after dialating to a 10 and before the bearing down feeling. She said her whole body started shaking and she got really excited because she knew she was in transition and she would be pushing soon. During my labor after I dialated to a 10 I started shaking uncontrollably. I hated the feeling. I felt completely out of control of my body to be able to calm it down. I didn't notice of the contractions had stopped or if I just wasn't paying attention, but not too long afterwards did I start the bearing down feeling. A few days later I realized the shaking was transition just as my sister had described it. She liked it, I hated it. Now here's the significant moment. When I was in labor with Evalie I had an epidural that worked like a charm. I didn't feel a thing. It was great. I flew through my last 5 cm and they reduced my epidural so I could feel the need to push. Well I never felt the need to push. It never came. But because my epidural was on low I could feel everything now. After two and half hours of pushing and Evalie not moving at all, I was headed to the operating room for a c-section. In the room, they moved my body to the operating table. On the operating table I started to shake uncontrollably. Everything was shaking, i thought I was going to fall off the table. My eyes were going crazy, I had to close them. I thought it was all the drugs in me, until i went through labor with Charlie and now I know I was in transition on the operating table. I would have started to feel the bearing down feeling shortly had I not had the c-section. I'm not saying I didn't need the c-section, there were many other variables in play during that labor. But I am saying maybe I was to anxious to get it over with. Maybe I could have delivered vaginally. Who knows, I'm not upset or bummed about it, just another lesson learned.
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3 comments:
I hated transition also. I told Sean I felt so out of control. If I could pick one thing I didn't like about Jayda's delivery that would be it!! I think a lot of it was I didn't expect to feel that way. I knew the pain would be there, I knew the feeling to push would be there but this was totally different. I also think I didn't feel it with Jase because of the epidural. I had an epidural with both but with Jayda they turned it off hours before they did with Jase. I delivered 2 1/2 hrs after they turned it off with Jase and about 7 hrs after with Jayda. I liked it in some ways and didn't in others. Glad I'm not doing it again though!! :)
ooooh, congrats on having Charlie! I think it would be harder to have a natural baby 2nd, rather than 1st because you don't know what you're getting yourself into the first time! Now you know, and you're choosing it! Way to be!
p.s. I had to NOT push for 20 minutes, it was harder than the entire labor combined!
Yea, it was insane, but empowering at the same time. I don't know if I'd do it again though. It may one of those things that once is enough, like reading the whole old testament.
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